Things I Should Do That I Don't

1. Run a marathon > my best friend from college just ran a marathon this weekend. While he was carb-loading, I was trying to decide if I should get off my lazy ass and put on enough clothing to last 20 minutes in the 43 degree afternoon wind. I did not do so. And then when I remembered that he was running a marathon, I felt like a big fat loser.

2. Stop eating white cheddar cheese popcorn > this will never happen, so I should just give up now and call it a day. I'm not even sure why it made this list. Probably because I am trying to convince myself not to go through 5 whole servings a day. Which will also never happen. Maybe 4 servings. Maybe just two. But never none.

3. Clean my room > so I can be minimalist like my boyfriend. He has the biggest room of anyone I know in NYC and he has hardly anything in it. It is amazing. I can make my voice echo AND do a headstand without crashing into any furniture. I secretly want to fill all his walls with the framed photographs I have no room for in my own bedroom. I secretly want to buy him furniture and arrange it because I have no more room to buy furniture for myself. I secretly want to switch rooms with him. This is not going to happen, any of it, because I like him a lot and I don't want him to think I'm any more of a weirdo than he already does.

4. Fold my laundry > folding laundry is the most annoying chore ever: it's like, okay your laundry is finally clean, and now you have to do something else with it? Fold it neatly? And put it away? When you finally get the motivation to clean your bathroom, you don't have to do anything else with it- you can sit back on your porcelain throne and admire your handiwork. Folding laundry sucks. Especially if you have so many clothes that once they are all clean they won't all fit in your drawers. So once you fold it, some of it still has to sit out on your chair until you've had time to wear other clothes from your drawers, at which point said clean clothes can take their place. I would rather wait until there is room in the drawers and then I'll fold these clothes. Maybe.

That's all I've got right now. Back to watching Flight of the Conchords in my underwear and eating popcorn in bed. And maybe updating my Facebook status. If I'm not doing things that I should do, at least I'm doing things I maybe should not do. A reverse productivity, if you will.